I will be gone and you will never know I was here.

Struggle, and fail! Life is failure. The failure of the mind to comprehend, the failure of the body to persist, the failure of the ego to accept that life is finite and failing.

We screw down and find the cells breathing, the atoms spinning, the quarks pulsing, pulsing, pulsing in and out of existence, and it is revealed that the primary illusion, the primary fantasy, is identity.

Loving is as pointless and as passionate and as terrible as all the rest of the experience of living.

She spoke the words in English. "You are a good man."

“If we twist it, if we tweak it in some way … If we created a great enemy, or dramatized a great struggle … If we gave people some great identity, some great purpose, some great hope … This thing could become big. Do not ever let it become big. Let this remain small, and insignificant. Its significance is in its insignificance. … Don't worship it, don't fear it: just acknowledge it.”

Evangelical solipsism... That must be an old joke.

Any life is insignificant.
But the people play their parts, and play them with gusto, because they believe that their lives are significant.
Looking through the microscope at microorganisms, then the ocean with the microorganisms floating on the surface that extends to a far horizon in every direction, and travel over the ocean, and more, more microorganisms, and then the generations, the generations long dead of the microorganisms, and a person is but one microorganism, insignificant on a scale incomprehensible to the human mind.

Living is just a habit.

"While we live, we search."

Demandant death is cardinal; all else is diversionary.

Writing is thinking.

just this immense, ineffable sadness...

Up all night tonight. No solace, no solace.

I've met Karen Eliot. She's Canadian. She's also a man.

Who are you?

Buddhistically?: "I am not." Egotistically?: "I am Radigan." Poetically?: "I am no-one, who are you? I am no-one, so are you."

"...yet as humans named the winds and rains and sun and moon and bestowed upon them human personalities and foibles and desires and as humans named the universe and declared him to have human wrath and vengeance and mercy and love, so we will name the creatures of the dark and depict them with human characteristics and actions and perceptions and dialogue, and thus perpetuate our grand fiction that the forces beyond us are understandable to us; we are but slugs in the slime who can perceive only the slime yet believe that a dinosaur standing with one clawed toe in the slime is a thing that could be known to us: as the slugs describe the dinosaur's claw in slug terms, so we shall describe Slaed in human terms."

There are these things we must do in order to stay alive, but there are also these things we must do because we are alive.

“...I am the might of the conscious mind...”

I have no addictions. No interests, therefore no addictions.

It is a terrible thing to fall in love; you never fall out of love.

Illogic motivates much of human behavior.

Brapp, brapp, brapp (that's the sound me thinking).

We all take, take, take. We are strange takers of strangers.