“Don't you forget what I am, which is a danger to every thought you think and every feeling you feel.”

“I don't want that stuff even described to me.”

“I can tell you what animal it came out of. It came out of a jaguar. I watched it come out of it.”

Syntax murky I am fine with.

Life is slow death.

after being up all night, I wake at 4:50 in the afternoon and write down these thoughts:

You are a guest at a large dinner with many guests, and you know that the food is poisoned. What do you do? Do you try to dissuade others from eating any way you can? Do you try to dissuade others from eating with the truth, and endure the suspicion that you poisoned the food? Do you excuse yourself from the dinner without explanation? Do you excuse yourself with explanation? Do you pretend to eat? Do you converse and laugh and feast and share fate with the rest of the diners?

Now here's the problem: Life is that dinner, everyone you know is at the dinner, and the food is poisoned.

You can have a carefree life as long as you have nothing to do with other people.

The horror is the pointlessness of the horror.

“I guess I was sleeping. I thought I was lying there thinking, but I was actually dreaming.”

She looked up from the picture book and at me with her big eyes -- she was afraid.

I picked her up and squeezed her. "No no no, Sweetie, those monsters aren't real. Your mother is real, and I am real, and the ger about us is real. But those monsters are the thoughts of other people, only thoughts, like dreams. You don't see monsters like you see your mother and me and the ger and the world. And when our part of the world turns away from the light each day for the night, the darkness that encompasses us is empty. There are no monsters in it. The darkness is empty."

I didn't tell her that the emptiness is fearful.

“Nothing is worthwhile.”
“This is worthwhile.”
“This is nothing.”

Freshen your world by looking at it as though you were dying. Because you are.

Consensus creates reality. Or the individual creates reality, in spite of consensus? Those are -- must be -- the only two options. But individual reality... I wrote a book on that.